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Tuesday Book Club "DIY U and the Coming Education Revolution": May 17 7:30 PM Eastern

Event: May 17 7:30 PM Eastern
If you care about education, read Anya Kamenetz' book, DIY U: Edupunks, Edupreneurs, and the Coming Transformation of Education, then come and discuss it with trustees, alumni, teachers and students who want to facilitate transformational learning.  Join us live at Laura's Library if you are in Austin, or virtually by clicking this link.  It is a great read.  You can purchase it below:

Three Ideas All Good Parents Embrace


Dr. Thomas Gordon's Parent Effectiveness Training is the classic text on improving your own communication skills so that the person you are talking to feels heard and respected. The August selection of the Tuesday Book Club is as helpful to parents and children today as it was back in 1970 when the first edition was released. Here are the links to listen to the past three teleconference discussions in case you missed them.

Tuesday Book Club 7/27/10

Tuesday Book Club 8/3/10

Tuesday Book Club 8/10/10

In a subsequent publication (P.E.T. in Action), research from the Gordon Training International of over 250,000 parents who attended P. E. T. training classes revealed there were three ideas a parent has to accept if they really want to improve their parenting skills.
  1. Children must be respected as individual persons, not as a different species or anomalies in time.
  2. How the child behaves is largely determined by what goes on in the parent-child relationship.
  3. There are fundamental principles about interpersonal relationships that must be understood. The two primary principles are: all humans are inconsistent in what behaviors they find acceptable in another (it is okay for parents to be inconsistent); and the principle of problem ownership (who owns a problem determines the strategy one must use to successfully communicate at that point in time).
Start now to change the habits that hurt you as a parent and build new habits using the helping skills Dr. Gordon describes in Parent Effectiveness Training. Those helping skills are:
  • four basic listening skills that communicate messages like "I won't take your problem away from you and I am here to help you find your solution"; "I have faith that you have all the ability you need to handle your problem constructively"; and "I love you for who you are and problems are a normal part of life."
  • how to talk so that kids will listen
  • how to change behavior by modifying the environment
  • win-win conflict resolution which is helpful when a behavior is impacting both people in the relationship
Tuesday Book Club Meets live at Laura's Library, 9411 Bee Cave Road, Austin, TX 78733 next Tuesday, August 17, 2010 at 6:30 PM CDT in Austin, Texas. Join us for practice of the core skills in Dr. Gordon's Parent Effectiveness Training book and for fun frank discussion about the challenges of parenting.

If you are out of town, join via teleconference at 7:00 PM CDT on 8/17/10 at (512) 501-4531 and code 121014#.

Your comments and questions are welcome here as another avenue for book discussion and personal growth. Until next time, remember one idea is all it takes to change your world. Have you already fallen in love with an idea and are having trouble getting back up when someone or something knocks you down? Find your tribe and mastermind with them.

In friendship,

Lori L. Barr, M. D.

Vice President, MindTamers


P.E.T. in Action, Thomas Gordon, General Publishing Company, Toronto, Canada, 1976

Improve Your Communication Skills before School Starts

Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children by Dr. Thomas Gordon shocks the reader into an entirely different mindset. There are two main reasons why people fail to implement the principles of Parent Effectiveness Training. Either they feel that they cannot afford to “surrender” their position of power in the parent-child relationship or, the idea of putting so much effort into a new pattern of communication is too exhausting.

The Tuesday Book Club is spending the month of August studying Parent Effectiveness Training. There are free weekly teleconference discussions and if you are in Austin, a free live meeting on the Third Tuesday, August 17, 2010 at Laura's Library at 6:30 PM. Last week our teleconference focused on the front matter and first two chapters. Click here to listen and catch up.

Here are some discussion questions for chapters three through five
that will help you start to use the language of acceptance that is so necessary in a successful relationship.

Parent Effectiveness Training Chapter 3: How to Listen So Kids Will Talk to You: The Language of Acceptance

What example do you have of a child refusing to talk to a parent?

How is unacceptance communicated?

Name two ways to communicate acceptance non-verbally. Try these and record your results.

Write what your exact verbal response would be if your child came home and said:

“School just isn’t for me. I’ve decided not to go to college. There are so many other ways to succeed these days.”

“I wish I could figure out what is wrong with me. Susie used to like me but now she never comes to play. Every time I go to her house, she is playing with Brianna. They have fun and I just feel left out. I hate them.”

“How come I have to mow the lawn? Sam’s family has a gardener to do that stuff. You are not fair! This is child abuse! Nobody works as hard as I do!"

You are having another couple over for dinner. Your five year old burst into the room as you are enjoying the after-dinner conversation and shouts:
“You are all a bunch of stinking fish heads! I hate you and wish you never came here!”

Classify your responses according to the categories in Chapter 3. Do you tend to communicate acceptance or the opposite?

How many meanings does a typical verbal response carry?

Name three “door openers” you are willing to try. Record what happens when you try them out.

What is active listening?

Try it out on a stranger and record what happens.

Why should people learn the skill of active listening?

What are the six requirements for Active listening to be genuine?

What are the risks of active listening?

Parent Effectiveness Training Chapter 4: Putting Your Active Listening Skills to Work

What is the most important action a person must take to master active listening?

When is it most appropriate to use active listening?

What three classifications apply to any situation encountered in a relationship?

Why is it important to classify situations?

What does active listening help the child find?

Name five common mistakes to active listening.

Parent Effectiveness Training Chapter 5: How to Listen to Kids Too Young to Talk Much

What two requirements must be met to use active listening effectively in children less than 4 years old?

How do you “learn to listen accurately to non-verbal communication”?

What can a parent give a child if the parent listens accurately to non-verbal communication?

What do most parents do instead?

What is the long-term result of this choice?

An Unofficial Reader's Journal to Parent Effectiveness Training, based on the 1975 edition of this classic is available as a free resource to you. Please join us Tuesday, August 3 at 7 PM CDT (512) 501-4531 enter the code 121014# for a live discussion of some of these questions and your experience as you read this manual on communication skills that will revolutionize every single relationship in which you engage.

Your comments and questions are welcome below. Remember, all it takes is one idea to change your world.

In friendship,

Lori L. Barr, M. D.
Vice President, MindTamers

Five Loyalty Killers To Stop Now If You Want Your Customer's Ear

Loyalty Killers
Five Behaviors That
Inhibit Customer Allegiance


Excerpted from The No Bull Branding Course Companion, a workbook by Lori L. Barr, M. D., International Health and Lifestyle Expert.  The workbook covers the curriculum of the No Bull Branding Course offered at Wizard Academy, a non-traditional business school in Austin, Texas.   

Just as some habits bolster intra- and inter-organizational loyalty, there are inhibitors that stifle allegiant environment. Below are five inhibiting behaviors contrasted with the steps of business innovators that deepen the bonds.

A fear-based individual or corporate culture can only lurch forward toward goals.  The Board of Directors smothers a bold ad they fear will offend a segment of the customer base.  A web designer is afraid of losing clients if she doesn’t play it safe with SEO.  What one is afraid of does not matter.  Fear is chaotic.  It inhibits coherent decision-making.   Customers buy products and services to minimize their own fears.  They intuit fear much like a horse senses a nervous rider.   They have enough of their own fears.  If they cannot feel the faith a company has in its own solutions, they will keep looking for another answer.  Business innovators weed out ideas and routines that inject fear into their production line.  As a result, they glide along the path to their goals.

Blur Reliability and Predictability
Customers want reliable solutions to their problems.  They want a pain reliever to work as well tomorrow as it did yesterday.  Reliability is key in helping the customer develop repeat purchasing habits.   Predictability, in contrast, is a magic cloak that renders a service invisible to the client.  The business leader who underestimates the mind as an adept at ignoring the boring is doomed to invisibility.  Small business owners are tempted to spend their entire budget on one great ad and then use it everywhere all the time.  When it is overplayed, the customer’s mind searches elsewhere.  Innovators seek ways to add novelty and surprise to their presentation without a sacrifice of the product’s reliability.

Misunderstand a Brand
Entrepreneurs and inventors may focus inward as they deliver an idea from conception to production since this is “their baby”.  Advisors encourage them, “Establish your brand!”  Those mentors fail to remind their protégés of the historic use of brands and how that impacts a customer’s thinking.  Ancient Egypt was the birthplace of livestock branding.  Human slaves and animals were branded so that owners could easily recognize their belongings in case of co-mingling.   Savvy business owners don’t mind it if their customer wanders in the competitor’s territory as long as he or she comes when called.  They nurture the relationship and pay attention to the customer’s journey.  They serve as the shepherd and protect their flock from the wolves.

Kick Back and Get Lax
Remember back to dating days.  If a guy didn’t call regularly, then the girl was harder to reach.  After a certain level of success is attained, there is a trend toward complacency in business practices.  Resist the urge to rest on past successes or to take for granted that conditions change.  Innovators embrace forward momentum and instigate needed change.

Failure to Create Competition
Try to capture the size of a whale while scuba diving or a mountain while hiking.  If there is no human-sized object to add scale to the image, then the viewer doesn’t grasp the magnitude.  Customers need a reference point to judge the merits of exceptional products and services.  Apple products become bluebonnets when PC’s are as generic as dandelions.  Innovative leaders encourage competition.  Everybody wins when the best products and services reach the customer.

From The No Bull Branding Course Companion, a workbook by Lori L. Barr, M. D., International Health and Lifestyle Expert.  The workbook covers the curriculum of the No Bull Branding Course offered at Wizard Academy, a non-traditional business school.

The next No Bull Branding Course is Tuesday, May 25, 2010 from 9-5 CDT.

"Your imagination is a time machine.  It takes you to the future where you enjoy the rewards of your labors."

- Lori L. Barr, M. D. Author of Tame Your Mind, Save Your Life

Secret Formulas of the Wizard of Ads Parts 3 and 4 High-jack Your Mind

Roy H. Williams reached best seller status with Secret Formulas of the Wizard of AdsPart 3 Side Door into the Mind and Part 4 Turning Lead into Gold supercharge your ability to rapidly enter a new idea into your mind or someone else's mind.  

When you read pages 68-137 you will find communication tools that really let you high-jack the mind.  Roy imprints the frequency and curiosity facts that you need to know to keep the mind engaged.  The Tuesdays at Seven Book Club will talk about Parts 3 and 4 on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 7:00 PM CDT.  The hour long discussion will start with these questions:
  • How does the composition of human thought presented here differ from your definition?
  • Why should you saturate your mind with poetry?
  • What four things of power should be used with care and why?
  • What does wisdom live in?
Join us via teleconference at 512.716.6511 and enter the code 973640#, Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at  7:00 PM CDT.   You'll increase your awareness of how your communication is hitting the mark.  If you want to take action and improve the skills, consider the No Bull Branding Course at Wizard Academy in Austin, Tuesday May 25, 2010.  It is a day full of delights for the mind and challenges to your paradigms.

Keep taming your mind and living your life vibrantly.

Lori L. Barr, M. D.
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